Nev's Reaction to the Blog so far...

"Girl, reading that stuff has brought me to one simple conclusion. You are way more off the wall than I ever gave you credit for. I mean seriously out there. It's like you haven't even seen the wall for months. Maybe never.
It looks good on you, btw :)

So how are you? Still selling the world to people who didn't know they wanted it? How am I? So sweet, thanks for asking. I'm okay. I could be out on my ear tomorrow when I see HR just after lunch. Not sure if I get to choose which ear, but I'd feel bad about having to pick one over the other anyway so maybe it's best to leave it to them.

Not that I'm fussing. It happens. Just have to hope it's a sunny summer and chill for a few months. Well, once I get back from Singapore and Perth anyway.

So anyway, I remember you used to write things which made sense to normal people (I got others translate for me) so let me know how you're getting on. No, not next month. Do it now. I will not be ignored. Hello? I said I wouldn't be ignored. Are you even listening to me???

Have a simply super day :) "

Nev

The 2 Garrys..

Grey-haired, you look like the boy Lineker. Only greyer.

Action Man!

Loving Al following the blog.
He's a proper live Action Man.

Click this link to see him in action. Next stop Hollywood!..
http://vimeo.com/10528248

Follow his blog at:
http://al-peasland.blogspot.com/

Amanda Sell-Fishy-Hooks - BFF # 2

Mand - the woman with the biggest metaphorical *ollocks I have ever met.

Her facial expression upon seeing a photograph of my ex-husband would have saved me £235 for the marriage license, and £40,000 in subsequent legal bills to the divorce lawyer had I witnessed her eyebrow action 18 months earlier....

7.45AM

Shook, rattled and rolled my gate loudly as I left this morning. It's right outside Spikey's bedroom window so that should have given him a rude awakening from an exhausting night of crime busting.
That's for the bins, Spikey!

Wait until tomorrow morning, when ABS in his wannabe Jamie Cullum phase gets his electric toy piano out at 6am...... that'll be heard through the walls nicely.

Predicted Spikey Scale: 8

Quiz Night....

At The Cowpat's Arms Tonight hosted by Pervyn & Leaner

The Only Question is...Is there nothing on Telly?...

Geek Treat of the Week

Greg Wallace

G&T Scale: 3 doubles, no ice, on an empty stomach

Putting Out the Bins is a Blue Job

...so why does Spiky lean out of his window and watch me put all the rubbish out? Does he not realise that I am a GIRL. I should not have to do bins. It is not a PINK job.

Worse still, he pretends that the bin men haven't been before he has to go to work.........AT NOON......so he doesn't have to bring the empty bins back in!

He's about as blue as it gets. You can't get bluer than Spiky.....

Feminism is perverted at times

Cagney And Lacey

Meet Partner in Crime - BFF #1 'The Pepperpot' aka Ems

If I had to describe Em in 2 words then those words would be....

PINOT GRIGIO

Garlands Mental Institute

Spikey only managed to mentioned Garlands 4 times in an hour today.

Apparently it is some discotheque north of Watford where Huey, Dewey and Louie spin the decks.

Spikey would throw some shapes to Bay City Rollers whilst sporting a silver cloud with a raindrop for a tear on his left cheek that he'd drawn on with facepaints earlier that evening.
A sorta Liverpudlian Ziggy Stardust doing what all The Young Dudes did back then Rebel-Rebelling the night away, thrusting his hips and hoping some Bananarama girl would look his way... if only he had realised it was a gay club...

Spikey Stardust circa 1982

Personally I think Garlands sounds like the name of a Mental Institute where Spikey was sent after he woke up believing he was Elton John one day.
His recovery continues now in Chiseldon where he is part of the Care in the Community Scheme.
His carer, Dick, brings him cabbages from the allotment and gives him a sponge bath once a week. Dick even flicks the Flymo over the lawn for him on occasion.
Spikey looks forward to his monthly outing to Jam Night at The CowPats Arms.
Here, if medicated appropriately Spikey once more can relive those True moments of Spandau Gold, rocking slowly backwards and forwards on his barstool in his purple plastic star-shaped sunglasses whilst wearing his Frankie Says I'm Mad T shirt. The kindly locals ignore the snail-trail of saliva from the side of Spikey's mouth.
Maureen and Keith are always first to step up to the microphone. Their opening number is always a Carpenters track. Rainy Days and Mondays always gets toes tapping....

Swingers

Swingers' Night at The Cowpat's Arms tonight. 2 participants makes for a SeeSaw rather than a Swing

Mr Small

ABS is back. Dropped off by ABS Snr who looks like Captain Birdseye.
There is a ginger pubic birds nest on his chin, and a tangerine afro on his head.

Introducing Alicks...

Loves....
Beer, beer, beer and eating.
Arsenal FC.
His holiday home
Jumpers and slacks
His 4x4
Himself

Favourite Film: 'The Mummy Returns' , 'Nanny McPhee 2: The Big Bang'

Is silver sexy?

Oi, Pricey, my life is too techni-coloured. I need some grey, baby.
Am I still your Plus One for the Wedding of the Year? Or has your emotional-fraggle radar found another target?
Your heart has been Robbonated. We could have made Greige together...

Bill and Ben in Threesome Shocker with Daisy

Bill and Ben chillax after homo-erotic session. Daisy remains disappointed. Familiar.

Me with the Oompa Lompas

Silicon Valley

MillyMolly

MillyMolly is looking all dewy and doe-eyed, if a little red of chest at the moment.
She's wearing her new man well.. Loving his chest work- all hair-free and muscley.
Thank God she dumped the Leprechaun with the shiny penis head, Grolsch gut, and ego the size of Spain. He should be a dictator of a small island of 1.
 Never seen anyone do squats like that by the way.

Pervyn in John Major lookalike scandal

Introducing Pervyn of The Cowpats Arms.
Would you buy a pint from this man?

Carbs N Booze

Anyway the rest of the residents' recycling appears to comprise of pizza and beer. Explains Alick's swollen belly...and I thought it was a miracle baby.
Still he partook in some exercise yesterday. Up a ladder fixing an aerial to the chimney with a couple of Carlsberg's in hand.
He's promised me some hedge loppers. I can think of a myriad of uses for those, not much involves foliage.

Are you getting enough fluids?

Put the recycling out. Mine is all slimline tonic cans and skimmed milk cartons.

A testiment to all my fluid intake for the week. Almost...

Rabbit VS Brigitte Bardot

Rabbit rocked a young Brigitte Bardot at Woodstock look to Bath yesterday. You looked hot girl until I took a look at the black opaques. In 18 degrees of sunshine! Now totally loving the undercut, even if it is a bit Mel B.

Is it wrong to Magnolia my walls in my Nick Kirkwood's?

Heels

Why I love shoes more than men...

1. They make you feel good
2. They don't mind being on the end of your feet