Keith

called me "by mistake"over the weekend.

Funny that as he called from a landline...

I told him to re-dial

Je Suis Robbo

Happy Birthday to me!

Age shouldn't affect you.
You're either marvellous or you're boring, regardless of your age...

Sunday Sunny Sunday

Sunshiney Sunday spent catching rays with ABS. Dick Turfpin entrusted me with his watering can and Weed'N'Feed, and gave me the run of the garden. Result!

Chiseldon Fun Run today. The marshalls were perhaps the worst I've ever seen - and came close to being responsible for 8 fun-runners being mowed down by a Volvo Estate in one go.

Dislikey spent all day indoors with his blinds shut.

Sunshine is clearly for suckers who think the world can be a happy smiley place! Either that or he's under house arrest....?

He had his dullard 1990's dance music on in the lounge, and Radio 2 on in the kitchen. At the same time. Both so loud that I could hear both. At the same time.
Still it made me grateful that I have been blessed with sanity, and good taste in music. At the same time.

Chiseldon Fun Run - Paula's there somewhere if you look closely!

Birthday BBQ

Milly Molly put on a fab B'day BBQ for me! Always an opportunity to get the bazookas out!

Best day babe! Thank you so much. And the cake was brilliant.

Wicked to see Pump Princess too. Need to catch up again v soon. Kids had a blast!

BIG LOVE xx

"I am capable of looking on the bright side, I just don't do it very often..."

Heifer's had her water meter installed. Spikey won't be happy at that. Then again, Spikey or as he will be known from now on - Dislikey - isn't known for his cheerful outlook on life. Indeed he could teach Morrissey a thing or 2 about Misery.

Still no danger of him drowning himself. Now he's on a water meter, it would cost him too much to fill a bathful.

He's spent all his money on Coke.

Heifer's Hair

I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong.
Croydon face-lift in your midish-40s?
WRONG.

Kiss My Ass

Milly Molly and I caught some tropical Carribean (sp)rays last night in a tent in her conservatory! 
Wicked bronzing fun in a gun.

We are now smokin' hot and ready to snog all the boys.

 Check out the white patches!

Spikey Island

Spikey has removed his recycling bins. I think this is all part of his ongoing drive for self-sufficiency. In 1 box he will keep chickens, and grow grass in the other. Not sure if the grass is for the chickens or Spikey. This will keep him in omelettes and chicken nuggets, and bring a halt to the weekly supermarket expedition. Now he only needs to leave the house once a month.
More time to spend in splendidly woozy isolation, listening to processed pseudo-Ibizan beats, sleepy with nostalgic thought for those halycon Hawaiian Disco nights at Garlands with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds for a dancing partner.
Sylvia Plath with a penis. She had her Bell Jar. He is a Bell End. Anyway, we all know what happened to Sylvia. Unfortunately, there's no gas supply to the village.

Arrested Development

It's over. Finished. End Of. Last Orders. Knock-out. Time at the Bar. Game Over.
The King of the Chiseldonites is defeated. Usurped. The Chiseldon Cop Revolution against a police-led village. Uprising in the Sticks against the Uniformed Dictator.

Spikey was not allowed to vote yesterday. He does not exist in Chiseldon apparently.
The only official who's officially not official.
The village have bobbed off their bobby by ignoring his very existence in their village.
Oh boy, I love the smell of that Polling Station. It smells like victory.

And so here endeth the reign of Spikey the Village Bobby IV.

Last one to leave turn out the copper Spikey lights.

AND MOVE OVER AS...

To Sell-Fishy-Hooks

This is for all the broken bits you have stuck back together x

Fashion Disaster.....

Although credit where credit is due...'Bottle Bank Bitch' has the fashion sense of a six year old her favorite item at the moment is a variation on that 80's classic.....The Red Duffle Coat.

In Charge.....????

It would appear that the 'Bottle Bank Bitch' is in charge of the bottle bank bins...!!! although why is anyone's guess. Quite what her contribution to the community is f*#k only knows.........

First Impressions..........

We must welcome another member of the community.....although if first impressions count she's a c#nt.......please get your baseball bats out and beat her.....The 'Bottle Bank Bitch'.........

How Long.....

As for the 'CowPat Arms' just how long will those flags stay in situ.........

Reality........

Unfortunately his efforts are leaving a little to be desired.......

The Grass....

Dick Turfpin has recently been playing the role of Alan Titchmarsh in his quest to produce the perfect lawn......

Welcome......

Its now time to introduce another member of the village community to the blog, thankfully this guy has a soft spot in our hearts........Hello, Good Evening and Welcome, put yours hands together and everything else together for the one and only....Dick Turfpin......

Clothed COCK Part 2

Listen freckles, just because you've been exposed exposing yourself, does not mean that we want photos of you in clothes now!

Does anyone over the age of 5 actually wear a T like that?

Hammer House of Horror Holiday

ABS Senior has proposed that the 3 of us go on a family holiday together.........
I was laughing all the way to the Canaries and back!

Would you go on holiday with this?

Gok'd!

Milly Molly got Gok'd!

1st pair of jeans and 1st jacket in the 1st shop we go into.

Bought.

100 quid in 5 mins.My work here done.

That's shopping Clairey Fairey styley.