Garlands Mental Institute

Spikey only managed to mentioned Garlands 4 times in an hour today.

Apparently it is some discotheque north of Watford where Huey, Dewey and Louie spin the decks.

Spikey would throw some shapes to Bay City Rollers whilst sporting a silver cloud with a raindrop for a tear on his left cheek that he'd drawn on with facepaints earlier that evening.
A sorta Liverpudlian Ziggy Stardust doing what all The Young Dudes did back then Rebel-Rebelling the night away, thrusting his hips and hoping some Bananarama girl would look his way... if only he had realised it was a gay club...

Spikey Stardust circa 1982

Personally I think Garlands sounds like the name of a Mental Institute where Spikey was sent after he woke up believing he was Elton John one day.
His recovery continues now in Chiseldon where he is part of the Care in the Community Scheme.
His carer, Dick, brings him cabbages from the allotment and gives him a sponge bath once a week. Dick even flicks the Flymo over the lawn for him on occasion.
Spikey looks forward to his monthly outing to Jam Night at The CowPats Arms.
Here, if medicated appropriately Spikey once more can relive those True moments of Spandau Gold, rocking slowly backwards and forwards on his barstool in his purple plastic star-shaped sunglasses whilst wearing his Frankie Says I'm Mad T shirt. The kindly locals ignore the snail-trail of saliva from the side of Spikey's mouth.
Maureen and Keith are always first to step up to the microphone. Their opening number is always a Carpenters track. Rainy Days and Mondays always gets toes tapping....